So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
