"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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