A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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