i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
