I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
