She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
