lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
