I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
