porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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