Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
