omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
