Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
