He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
