nutella sex= disaster
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
