im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Randomize
