thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
