I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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