She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
