When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
