doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
