She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
