If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you didnt know i had herpes?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
