my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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