is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
