im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
