you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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