I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize