I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
