Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We were destined to go to rehab together
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
