Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
