road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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