He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
