i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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