We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
