It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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