how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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