Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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