it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is Oprah even human
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
