i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
