But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize