You're completely useless in the revolution.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
