i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
