Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
