Umm I'm too high to move.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
