she looked like the bat from fern gully.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize