C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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