a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
