so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
