I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize