I wish i was in the wii world.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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