OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize