he was CRYING into my vagina
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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