census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
