Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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