I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
