his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
