She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
