Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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