Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
