He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
